19 / 03 / 2025

I’m on my way to film wind.

While I walk, I feel a strong emotion in my body. A wave of discomfort fills me up. I want to cry.

Should I sit on a bench I see, to my right? No, I continue walking. For some reason I feel very out of place the more people walk past me. I keep hearing a shy voice telling myself ‘I don’t belong here’, making the urge to cry a bit stronger every few steps I take. As I write this I’m thinking to myself that I am overreacting, but it is something I feel.

I arrive at the tree I wanted to visit already yesterday. In german its called a Trauerweide. I believe in english it is called the Willow tree. She is firmly glowing in the light breeze of wind present today. I take some steps around her. I want to film myself embracing her, but I craved being alone with her, with nature.

A selfish thought maybe, but if we would be alone, my body would be calmer. They wouldn’t judge me as I embrace this fellow willow tree.. I carefully set up my camera, ready to begin.

I wait for when there is no people passing by.

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Why is it that I am more scared of other people than being alone in nature? An ongoing question I run in my head as I walk back ‘home’.